Extreme excitement. A little nausea. A lot of waiting around. A series of untold thrills. And, in the end, a feeling that it all went by too quickly. So for maximum enjoyment, read before you ride.
Can Dads Feel Bloated and Hormonal?
Of course. Just because dads don't carry their babies in their bellies for nine months doesn't mean they don't carry the weight of the responsibilities of fatherhood.
- Maybe you're worried about what kind of father you'll be.
- You're secretly afraid you might break the baby the first time you hold him.
- You may wonder if you can provide for your child, both materially and emotionally.
- You might be concerned that your house or apartment won't be big enough for all of you.
- You're watching your partner change dramatically, and your relationship with it.
- You can't help worrying that your sex life will change.
If any or all of this hits home, you've got lots of company.
The Power of Dad
You may feel like a helpless bystander in all of this, but you're not. Dads have little-known powers when it comes to newborns and their moms:
- How you respond to and interact with your newborn helps shape his intellectual growth.
- Talking, cuddling or singing to your baby stimulates his brain cells.
- Studies suggest that stimulating one area of his brain can also stimulate unrelated areas of the brain. (Say, the areas responsible for learning to play a musical instrument and the areas that control some mathematical thinking).
- Being patient may actually help build his self-esteem.
- Giving your baby the attention he needs helps him feel safe, secure and special.
- You can feed and comfort your child, and research solutions if feeding is an issue.
- Being a supportive partner to your wife can strengthen your relationship and relieve tension for both of you.
Daddy Survival Guide: Before and After Birth
Before the birth:
Be a part of the pregnancy.
Go with your wife to her doctor's appointments. Ask questions, and do your reading. Including the pages of this site.
Ask your hospital about daddy boot camp.
These are programs to teach men the basics of baby care.
Talk to your partner.
Listen to each other's excitement and worries. Staying connected will strengthen your relationship, and help you deal with the challenges of parenthood.
Be patient and affectionate as your wife deals with her changing shape and hormones.
Talk to the veterans.
Other dads have had the same concerns as you have, and others. You'll get advice, reassurance and the benefits of hindsight.
After the baby arrives:
Don't worry if fatherhood doesn't come naturally.
A lifelong relationship takes time. Just be sure to make the effort.
Get involved in his day-to-day care.
Learn his patterns and preferences. Listen to his cries, so you too can learn what he needs and make him feel secure and loved.
Help with nighttime feedings.
Take one of the feeding shifts if your baby is formula-fed or takes breast milk from a bottle. If mom is the sole feeder, you can help by changing your baby's diaper or putting him back to sleep after eating.
Save time for your relationship.
This is all too easy to shove to the back burner. Take a walk. Have a conversation. Cuddle and kiss each other, along with the baby.
Remember that this time passes quickly.
Believe it or not, he will sleep through the night one day. And he'll learn to comfort himself when he's bored or fussy. So keep centered, stay patient and enjoy these amazing first moments while they last.
Know that you're needed.
You wouldn't be a family without you. And you already know that being a caring, involved parent will help your baby develop physically, mentally and socially over his whole life.
»Learn More About Feeding Your Baby
